Wednesday, November 15, 2006

what does it feel like to have an inkling of an idea that a year from now, things may be so different from now? the people you see around you now...the people you turn to now...will they be the same people a year from now? will these particular people still play the same role in your life a year from now? will you be staying in the same house a year from now? the ones that you grew up looking at...will they still be there for you to look at when you're grown up?

maybe not.

nothing aptly describes this unsettling feel of total uncertainty of what the future holds. why? it's so upsetting, right down to the littlest bit of your heart and the tiniest bit of your head. thinking about it makes your heart wrench so badly, in the same way you wring a sponge, where water just flows out till the sponge is dehydrated. not thinking about it just seems so anal. you wish you never knew how to think or remember or predict sometimes. if only the hippocampus and amygdala and basal ganglia would edit such unhappiness.