Thursday, September 28, 2006

i will not make the same mistakes that you did
i will not let myself cause my heart so much misery
i will not break the way you did
you fell so hard
i've learned the hard way, to never let it get that far

because of you
i never stray too far from the sidewalk
because of you
i learned to play on the safe side
so i don't get hurt
because of you
i find it hard to trust
not only me, but everyone around me
because of you
i am afraid

i lose my way
and it's not too long before you point it out
i cannot cry
because i know that's weakness in your eyes
i'm forced to fake, a smile, a laugh
everyday of my life
my heart can't possibly break
when it wasn't even whole to start with

because of you
i never stray too far from the sidewalk
because of you
i learned to play on the safe side
so i don't get hurt
because of you
i find it hard to trust
not only me, but everyone around me
because of you
i am afraid

i watched you die
i heard you cry
everynight in your sleep
i was so young
you should have known better than to lean on me
you never thought of anyone else
you just saw your pain
and now i cry
in the middle of the night
for the same damn thing

because of you
i never stray too far from the sidewalk
because of you
i learned to play on the safe side
so i don't get hurt
because of you
i tried my hardest just to forget everything
because of you
i don't know how to let anyone else in
because of you
i'm ashamed of my life because it's empty
because of you
i am afraid

because of you
because of you

-"Because of You" Kelly Clarkson-

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

SIAN.

:(

BOO.

Monday, September 11, 2006

i just realised that my paper isn't due on wednesday afternoon. the deadline is 12th september. that's Tomorrow! oh noooo.............

i really shouldn't be blogging now, but i'm just so sleepy from reading articles after articles and paragraphs of fine print after paragraphs of fine print of the treatment of disorders and mental problems. i'm doing last minute work again, this isnt supposed to happen this sem!

ARGH.

stressing myself out unnecessarily Again, to do finish research, struture a skeleton and write my essay in like a couple of days. darn it bio psyc. it's due on Wednesday and it's erm....past monday noon already and there's all that lessons tmr and...and...and....i better get back to more reading -_-

on a lighter note, the weekend was a great deal of fun and i really enjoyed myself...what with 3 bday parties for 3 incredible friends turning 21, a helluva food (and make that really yummilicious stuff), and lunch at york hotel on sunday with mummy chuan and yanjia...mmm :)

photos will be up soon, once i get them from the peeps. i couldnt take any pics on sat because my camera charger was lost in newyork, because i havent bought a new charger, because i havent' quite had time to go to simlim to get a new one and...because i'm abit lazy to go all the way there anyway. haha. but i have to! after this wednesday is over....

wednesday brings along 4 things to look forward to actually:
1) submission of term paper! nobody can argue that this is not a happy event.
2) clubbing with sheryl and joey and maybe more cedar point people?
3) tentative meet-up with CP friends on sat afternoon...nick-->get it organised!
4) tentative dinner with PL band girls sat evening at newyork newyork.

ok so there, i really wanna get my pics from my trip up here but there's sthg wrong w the photos function. boooo :(

Sunday, September 03, 2006

     窗外陰天了　音樂低聲了
    我的心開始想你了

    燈光也暗了　音樂低聲了
    口中的棉花糖也融化了
    窗外陰天了　人是無聊了
    我的心開始想你了

  ＊電話響起了　你要說話了
    還以為你心裡對我又想念了
    怎麼你聲音變得冷淡了
    是你變了　是你變了

  ＃燈光熄滅了　音樂靜止了
    滴下的眼淚已停不住了
    天下起雨了　人是不快樂
    我的心真的受傷了

    我的心真的受傷了

a friend has sorted out his thoughts after a rather long time. listening to him, that period was to say the least, agonizing. and i'm happy for you that you've finally made up your mind and convinced yourself that u've decided on the next action to take and move on.

life claims to present us with options, someone's always saying: "surely there's another route you can take instead of this..?". yet when given the chance to accept that option, something else (usually less favourable in certain aspects) pop into our heads and then we start walking on that tedious path of deciding. All Over Again.

or wat about being fickle? one part of you says go this way! the other part says are you sure? and then both sides are weighed rationally and 1 path seems to have better prospects or appears to be the right thing to do. so logically, that path should be taken. but NOOOO...you feel like the less popular path seems to be more attractive at that moment. that's when u are stuck. cant decide. but all in all, things will work out sometime. that is for sure. only thing is how long that is going to take before everything falls into place again.

and until then, we can only wait.

stole this off donut's blog. i love this song. i agree that it's a classic. but it's one of those sentimental pieces which have lyrics that fit so many situations. like now.

don't lose your way
with each passing day
you've come so far
don't throw it away
with believing
dreams are for living
wonders are waiting to start
live your story
faith hope and glory
hold to the truth in your heart

if we hold on together
i know our dreams will never die
dreams see us through to forever
where clouds roll by
for you and i

souls in the wind
must learn how to bed
see how the stars
hold on to the end
valley mountain there is a fountain
washes our dreams all away
words are swaying
somebody's praying
please let us come home to stay

if we hold on together
i know our dreams will never die
dreams see us through to forever
where clouds roll by
for you and i

when we are out there in the dark
we dream lala la la
in the dark we feel the light
warm our hearts
everyone

if we hold on together
i know our dreams will never die
dreams see us through to forever
as high as souls can fly
the clouds roll by
for you and i

2 weeks?!

it's been that short.....? or erm...long......? yup, 2 weeks, that's only how long ago that summer hols ended. feels like a uber long time though. unfortunately.

but 2 weeks....and i've finally met the band girls, today!! well, not all, just about 2/3 of them, cos weiting couldn't make it. so huixian veronica and i met at somerset and we just chilled at the startbucks right beside california fitness in town, for about 3 hours. yup, it was Starbucks again..back in singapore, despite walking past the numerous starbucks outlets on practically every alternate street in the US, starbucks remains our special place to hang out. haha.

i'm so happy that we met up, with the exception of weiting-->why are u so busy girl?! come out and meet us!!!! i miss you!! after starbucks, 3 of us made our way down the street and up to wisma's foodcourt for dimsum! it was disappointing that they ran out of eggtarts when i was kinda craving for them (cos i just remembered those yummilicious eggtarts that we had in sanfran everyday!), so we settled for har-kow, siew-mai and carrot cake. yummy :)

i was on a mission: to get a dress. not any dress. but one that would exude enough vintage charm for jas's 21st tea party this coming saturday. it's exciting really...cos i dun exactly have a dress at home now. so yea, it'll be cool to own one! pero, una problemo is that i dun quite have an eye for looking out for stuff beyond my usual dress code of basic bold colours for tank tops/tees/shorts/minis. small problem.

no actually big issue. cos patterned cloth always looks weird to me when it's on the hanger, so i'd never think of picking it up. and then i'd see someone wear it, and aha! it looks pretty nice actually. so there, i suck at this. but it's urgent...tmr is D day and i am going to find my tea dress. 'nuff said.

decide to walk today. no biggie that i walked from somerset to far east to scout ard the shops there and pick up bubble tea. but i really walked a great deal tonight. from far east along scotts road in town......down to newton circus.....down the wrong exit that led to bukit timah rd......back up bukit timah rd.....down the right exit to newton rd.....novena square......thomson road......and finally the police academy along thomson rd. i stopped there. my legs were aching, the sides of my feet were tortured by my slippers, and it was getting way too dark and creepy to be walking along quiet, ulu thomson rd. alone. yea, mummy nearly freaked out when she heard of how i walked from orchard to thomson in 2 hours alone from 8.50pm to 10.30pm. sometimes we need time alone to think...think....and think.

first time i nearly walked home like this, but i'll complete the journey the next time when my feet aint hurting so bad and my laptop aint in my bag. it's good to think like that - walking alone along the streets away from town, without the hustle and bustle of the town, without the people in the bus seated/standing 10cm away from you. clears your head. a lil bit. but nevertheless, clears your head.

closure is important. but closure is difficult. noone said it's gonna be easy. seriously. it sux sometimes. so bad. but is closure necessary? and what kind would be the best? is it the right choice? and if it is the right thing to do, is it the choice that you would want to make? somebody answer these questions.