Friday, December 30, 2005

went swimming at gwen's pool at her new condo this morning.. it's a lovely place and i absolutely love it. love the apartment and the environment and the pool and the full-length windows especially.

spent the afternoon at jem's place. he was babysitting his cousin and brothers...just having boys of all ages in the house can trully make a girl go mad i think, esp when they're hooked onto CS on 3 computers. but it was cool, i had fun. makes me think back to.....then.

during supper at newton on mon night, he said it mite haf been a good thing we didn't start going out seriously. that was after i told him about the ex. yea, maybe it was a good thing the ldr between us didn't really work out, cos we mite not be friends now, mite not be having suppers and meeting up during the hols and mite not even be talking now.

guess it's not really the end until things get right. i really treasure our friendship, but i did wonder quite abit whether or not he really meant what he said at newton. haha.

talked to him earlier. didn't think we would ever again, but just wanted to tell him to enjoy his last day being 21 before turning 22 in a couple of days. felt weird. like how u knew u could probably say alot more but just didn't. he said he's done a fair bit of thinking this hols, and i'm happy for him, regardless of what he thought of. clearly, he's enjoying his hols alot more than i am mine. i dun even know if he still reads this page at all, i'm assuming he doesn't, that's why i'm writing all these.

i still feel like i deserve a shot sometimes, and at other times, i just totally give up.

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

today i did something that i've wanted to for the longest time ever. i brought my book and went to the library, planning to just sit, read and drink. instead, i couldn't help browsing through the shelves of books-fiction and non fiction, and ended up reading a lovely book accompanied by 1 chicken pie, a skinny latte (that was seriously not the best of lattes...) and finally a slice of oreo cheesecake that i really should not have touched.

nevermind that i brought my book out for nothing, i actually enjoyed my afternoon at the lib, despite freezing my hands and feet. guess it was just one of the things i really had to do, to get away from everything else. CORS included.

reading. man, i love doing that, but i barely read anything other than notes and da vinci code this year. it aint only girly books about shopaholics and love that makes reading fun, it's the other genres that books have to offer: history, greek mythology, astronomy, physics, cookbooks (yes, cookbooks although i can't cook).... i love danielle steel and her books.

didn't go for training today. i feel like quitting the team already. i've probably got the worst eye-hand-brain-ball coordination ever and i'm onli gonna be warming the benches. so why play on. such a quitter. can't stand it. it's not like track, i wouldn't even mind being in track, at least i get real exercise and burn calories there, even if i were to be the slowest runner haha. but softball just aint working for me...losing interest in it already. should i go for training on friday? that'll mess up my lunch with missy...and what about cblc agm on fri too?!

argh. whatever.

going running about now, feel like i could do with a run, although it takes up an entire hour, running is a time for thinking through stuff. stuff about this year, about this hols, about people, and about next year.

give me a choice, i will not be a psychology major in nus arts. what i really want to do, singapore can't give it to me. i wanna study astronomy and music and greek/roman/medieval history. i wanna have a job that will allow me to travel all over and not be stuck in a place the rest of my life, and most certainly not on a little island like dear ol' singapore.

jeremy thinks i really dislike being in a place for too long and that i don't really like this place. i say he's spot on.

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

met the pl clarinetists on saturday at suntec..nydc...again!!! we're always meeting at nydc haha, the last time it was outside heeren. lydia and eugenia and liyean. i wasn't the latest!!

was quite happy to see them again, and that we still met up and stuff and talked bout funny stuff and funny pple and old pple from pl. honestly feels like ages ago that we were all in band prac and band camps (lydia's always absent from these!) and syfs and band concerts. miss all that soooo much, it cant be described :(

thanks lydia for your present! i love it!!

donut asked if i wanna go to hk w her and jiafang this jan before sch starts. hmmm i am dying for a trip outside singapore, but should i?

met 02s32 after that at clarke quay. don't remember ever having full attendance at class gatherings before! daniel tan, yiwei, yanling, jiajia, christine and i were there. eddy was supposed to join us for dinner, but...he came later. we went to this little place called fisherman's wharf just opp the mrt, it's entirely a fish-and-chips eatery, as in that's all they have. but no worries, cos the fish was quite yummy, and the serving was huuuuuge!!! couldn't finish it haha.

clarke quay is soooo pretty! i wanna go there again. there're so many restaurants with all sorts of food! mexican, italian, pizzerias, all-american, spanish, indian, fusion..and more. it's such a pretty place to just walk through and take in all the sights and sounds :)

we wanted to go to MOS initially, but the queue was craaazy!! ridiculously winding up and down and across the road..i know eddy and dan were quite disappointed cos they really wanted to go there! no prob guys, there's always next time!

change of plans --> eddy drove us to dbl o instead. didn't drink a drop that night, yay!! the music wasn't too good though: alot of weird songs with some good numbers in between.. whats up man. still, i don't really like the crowd there, weird....and yes there was this weird person, shant mention much but haha, it's funny! thanks eddy for driving us home...esp me, cos u even went past ur place to send me home!!

had dinner with the vj clarinetists yesterday at cartel. huixian weiting sirong meihui shuhong and me. was a little awkward at times i felt, cos afterall, we're not allll that close despite being in the same section. but generally it was alright, except that we didn't have anything to do after dinner!! and it was only 8pm. ended up walking up and down orchard looking for this pub, but we didn't find it eventually. it wasn't a complete section outing, so many pple were missing! the complete clarinet section from vjcsb 2002 includes:

shuhong, sirong, meihui, wanting, huixian, xiaowen, weiting, erin, agnes, youwen. hope i didn't miss out anyone!

huixian's trying to organise another clarinet girls gathering before school starts hopefully. hope we get to gather at someone's place and chill!!

met gwen at thomson prata (again) after dinner. dunno why the 2 of us were so greedy, i had an egg prata and she had a kosong and cheese+onion+mushroom prata. haha....greedy little pple. just as we paid and gave up our table, her friend called to see if she wanted to haf supper at the same place! haha. met gwen's friend yingchao who (surprise surprise!!) stays in my estate! haha, small world.

just like the last time, we sat outside my place on the benches and talked and talked and talked. it's scary but sometimes it really is true that life is too short to keep playing the waiting game, so just pluck up whatever courage u have and ask. nvm that u're asking first, u never know what lies ahead after that first question :) it's easy to tell pple this, but honestly, it's so difficult to tell it to yourself. you go girl, cos i'm rooting for you!!

haha, gwen's got this weird habit, she's always always always walking me home. and never lets me walk her back. :/

haven't really done a birthday post.. so here's the overdued one:

my 20th this year was a relatively quiet one, but it's better than doing housework last year! haha, yea, i was doing housework on my bday last year.. it was quiet at first, recuperating from the ordeal the night before --> refer to dec 8 post! had a nice dinner w mummy pa and chuan at sakae, we couldn't quite decide where to eat cos they kept asking the birthday girl to make up her mind, and clearly she couldn't decide haha.

thought i might be in time for the queen of queens bash at dxo that night, but i wasn't. it's alright, cos apparently i didn't miss much and it was better that i didn't go anyway, so that i wouldn't see some pple. we did the usual birthday cake thingy at home, no big celebration this year. it's fine really, cos small celebrations mean the most to me :)

left the house late cos i was to meet sha and bing and stayover at ntu that night. ended up, james and stanley were there too! we went to this quiet pub somewhere behind smu, near fort canning park, it's a beautiful place! except that it's kinda very wuuu--loooo!! shane was there too. the couple on stage sang a birthday song and this other song that i really love but cant remember the title.. so sweet!

thanks you girls for spending the last mins of the day with me!!

we took some photos at hall 5...but!! daniel accidentally deleted all of the pics, so yea, nomore pics sha and bing :/ sorry! we'll take more next time ya.

was awfully late in meeting the band girls at siglap, cos i woke up awfully late, oops! so sorry girls, u all had to wait so long! we intended to go to the cheesecake cafe at siglap, but it was changed to starbucks instead. not met up like this since..what...the beginning of the sem? that was freakin long ago! thanks huixian weiting and veronica for the lovely card and even lovelier hollister tee!!! i really like it! can't wait to see us all together again!

david said that 20 is an age that is neither young nor old, i kinda agree with that, but at the same time.....its 20!!! i just hope that next year will be a better year than this year, in more ways than one :)

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mummy and i had a little scare just about 15 mins ago. it was 2am and everyone else in the neighbourhood is sleeping (at least that's what i think) and we were talking upstairs in the computer room when suddenly i thought i heard the key turning in the lock of the main door downstairs.

me: "chuan isn't home yet?"

mummy: "no..he's sleeping already..."

me: "then what was that sound? sounded like our gate......"

mummy and i exchange glances, and both of us get ready to go downstairs to erm, investigate, armed with...penknives.

we quietly sat at the top of the stairs, straining our necks to peer downstairs to see if y'know, there were any unnecessary shadows. tiptoed down the steps and turned on the lights downstairs, nothing unnecessary was moving...

:/

haha, guess we just watched one detective show too many...

Saturday, December 17, 2005

received a reply coupla days ago. i don't know how to react to it, seriously. initially, it was joy -- by looking at the heading and sender. then -blank- when reading the contents.

gave some answers to what i wanted to know. but there's still more that's unsaid. guess i'll wait. till next year starts before knowing whether or not there's an end. or not.

talked to alee bout this. he knows wat i mean, cos he's been through a more intense version of it. thanks man :) 3 hours ahead really makes alot of difference now. it mattered alot 1.5 years ago, and it does again, now.

situations like this that makes u realise things. the way u don't expect you will do something, but it turns out that, hey, you do do that something actually. much as you don't want to admit it, much as you don't think it will happen, much as you don't see any good coming out of it. despite all, it still happens.

doesn't life drive u mad sometimes. mine does.

when everything around you is a memory of something better than what you are experiencing now.

Friday, December 16, 2005

had some retail therapy today! quite happy with my new stuff! a little heartache, it's ok, not really gotten anything new since school ended anyway :)


not gone shopping like this for sooo long. it's really fun and i love it! not felt so relaxed for so long too...this really feels way good, compared to the past 2 weeks. sha and i walked till our legs and feet ached..

we met pak loon and amanda and keryi for dinner at fish and co the glass house. pak wanted to treat his "girls", otherwise known as his "darlings". haha. he's like a sugar daddy. he even got ferrero rocher for appetiser for us! haha.

good ol' pak :) the last time we met up was with amanda and jieying at iz canteen. then, he got godiva chocs for us....sugar daddy i tell u..

the samal fish at fish and co is good. and very filling. the chilli sure was spicy enough. however, they just gave too much food: the entire line fish + mushrooms,carrots,radish side + a whole load of fries. whoa, couldn' finish it.

we headed to tcc at ps after that for erm...coffee. we talked of sep stuff, since sha is gg hk, keryi to sweden (!) and amanda to italy (!). i wanna go to europe for sep too, what if my grades cant make it??!!

sigh.

gotta work on the exercise now, seriously. softall training twice a week isn't so much exercise really. i'm horrid at it actually.

christmas is coming, i don't really feel it in the air though. i think it's cos i dun even feel the holiday spirit. reason: there's no vacation overseas! :( :( :(

wanna go to angkok now, could do with some shopping and sun over there. and cheap stuff generally. who to go with? ing and sha can't go, sadly. and they're the ones i really wanna go with! :( :/ :(

Thursday, December 08, 2005

was late again....in meeting dolus for lunch at suntec. almost an entire hour late. sorry! we ate at kenny rogers, cos according to mel "ivy was hungry" haha. can't wait for their corn muffins to come back into the store cos well, choc-chip ones just don't taste so kenny-rogerish..

surprise #1
dolus got me a birthday present!! i really didn't expect it yesterday, thank you so much!! i've opened it, and i really love the origins make a difference hand and foot moisturizers!!

we headed to the ben & jerry's ice cream parlour for dessert...the ice cream flavours there....mmm mmm mmm, u have to try it to know how irresistable they are! mel, jas and i shared 1 scoop each of sweet cream and cookies, new york fudge-something, phish food and an extra scoop of oatmeal raisin-something (courtesy of the lovely ice cream girls at b&j!) in a waffle-basket. absolutely yummylicious!!

surprise #2
the ice cream girls gave an additional scoop of ice cream at no extra charge at all, cos clement kinda announced that there was a birthday girl in the crowd. haha. thanks clement!

surprise #3
our waffle basket of b&j was a treat by mel and jas...pre-birthday treat. thanks girls!!

surprise #4
we were sitting around chatting after we ate up the yummy yummy ice cream. from nowhere, clement and ernest popped out with a candle atop a slice of cake from coffeebean! omgoodness...i was super shocked at this. the cake was really good, i hope u guys enjoyed it too!

surprise #5 (this isn't really a surprise surprise...but a blog-worthy nonetheless)
clement fillped up a form and got me a carebears cup!

all in all, i had a really fun time w dolus yesterday, thanks so much once again guys and girls!!

brought me back to thinking about the dolus celebration last year. it was at chomp chomp and gardens park. that was a great surprise too, similarly, i didn't guess it was a birthday thingy again. haha. i love dolus!

had 1 drink too many last night... to be exact, it was 3.5 drinks. haha. they should ban me from drinking. i'm gg to ban myself from drinking anyway haha.

1/2 bottle hoegarden
1 vodka lime
1 malibu pineapple (nice...)
1 flaming lamborghini

what happened after that....haha....you dun wanna know.

but thanks so much melly, jas and ivan who were there the whole night throughout the whole erm, ordeal. you guys were really helpful, wouldn't know wat to do if not for u! thanks so much!!
met anthony, terence and larry @ zouk. din hang around or talk to them...and din get to see bing too, cos of well, circumstances.

chuan was a witness to wat happened last night-the after effects. haha. hope he keeps his mouth shut..

mummy and pa weren't too happy over what happened, but i'm grateful that they din scold or anything.

my throat is hurting like nuts, it practically kills to swallow and talk. how am i gg to eat like this?! oh well, it was my fault anyway, like mummy says: "it's an experience, now you know what it feels like". haha. trust my mum to say this.

should i go for queen of queens tonight? feel as if my actions have all slowed down. no hangover thank goodness, just slower reactions. sigh. i'll recover by tmr!!

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

woke up late today...too late to go running. of cos if i really had to go run..i would no matter what time of the day right? but...haha.

started thinking again. but NO, i wanna stop already. it's not good for health or my eyes. maybe happier moods will help my skin recover..it's in real bad shape now. lack of sleep, late nights, no sleep, bad moods, unhappiness. i wanna be radiant this hols!

catching potter w xuan sha bing later in the evening. prob meeting bing and sha for dinner too. was thinking of having gelare today. but maybe not, since i didn't have it last week and having it this week will make me think again.

better remember to do my module preference thingy this sem before i end up with too little cors points to take all my mods and graduate outta that place. silly mistake last sem and my prog account is officially at 0 points. yup, u din read wrongly..its got nothing inside nada, zilch points. haha. so far, there's bio with hoonie and xuan, stats 2 w xuan and ernie, industrial w hoonie xuan and ernie. wonder if this sem can take any common mods w ejia.

decided, i shall get busy..so many things to do, so many things i wanna do, so many places i wanna go, so many things i wanna eat. oops.

tmr should be a fun day cos there's shopping w mel and gang, and mummy wants to take me shopping for my present too. haha. i don't have any idea what i want...she's generous this year...as she is with previous years too. told me to go shop and pick out anything i like. ANYTHING. but i've not shopped yet.

mel said i have too many "HAVES" and that i should have some "WANTS". i can't think of any material goods now dear! i do have wants. a whole load of it actually, so many that even santa is gonna label me as the greedy-girl this christmas. shall not list them here, before u guys conclude that i'm mad. maybe next time ya.

read a friend's blog earlier. i hope he's feeling better from the last time we met up. i hope things are getting better for him. really feel sad for him, he's seriously a good guy and its sad how he's gotta go through this.

today is probably gonna be a very good and exciting for another friend cos he's planning today to make his move and get the girl. good luck man, tell me the good news! or i'll see it on ur nick anyway haha.

saw alot alot of sights today. wish i didn't see them:

1. chicken rice @ picnic, scotts
2. amk ave 3 road
3. amk-serangoon roads
4. old-man ice cream
5. chicken little
6. stars
7. having pple tell me that anyone taller than me is normal -_-
8. walking around barefoot like loads of pple in aus do which led to darren saying that i'm halfway on holiday in australia -_-
9. gelare
10. suits
11. the cafe inside cine 2nd level
12. pasta mania @ cine
13. durian ice cream
14. my msn pic

i really don't need this. gotta find stuff to occupy myself and my time. this is quite rather xin ku. i don't like it.

its the start of 6th dec already. 7th dec is 1 day away.

mambo is on wed. am i going?

queen of queens @ dxo is on thurs. am i going?

bizcom bash identite @ indochine is on fri. am i going?

zouk out is on sat. am i going?

the holidays are here. am i going?

joel, ivan and anthony told me i should seriously reconsider my plan of turning into a nun. should i?

i'm so tired. so tired of things. so tired of thinking. so tired of wondering. my eyes are so puffy. practically running out of tears. i need to replenish it.

thanks to those who've put up nice-to-hear stuff on the tagboard. thank you.

no thanks to the one who's being an S. but i don't care, remember. right.

everyone's enjoying their hols already. am i?

no.

nothing's working out fine or turning out well these days. nothing has since the start of the sem. bloody hell.

maybe potter tmr can help. maybe ben & jerrys and retail therapy on wed will be helpful. maybe fri with the band girls will be good. i dunno. i just hope so only.

is this the most melancholic state ever? maybe. uni hasn't exactly brought alot of good things into my life. it has brought joy and it has sucked out joy too.

may tmr be a better day than today.

today was chuan's prom night...ohhh makes me wish i had my prom night all over again! was in town by 11am to send his pants for alteration. cut my hair...it's soo short now, can't wait for it to grow back..hurry hurry! chuan looked really smart today...in his blue-and-white-striped shirt, and black suit. whoa, this is definitely the first time i've seen him look so good :) yanjia wore my sec 4 midnight-blue-bare-back-full-length gown. she looked pretty good too :) hope they enjoy themselves tonight.

had dinner with darren at nydc at heeren. it was such a last minute thing. the bbking chicken grilled sandwich tasted alright..maybe it's the mood. it's affecting my tastebuds now. sigh.

today is just sooo not my day (or night rather). was walking outside wisma when my heels decided to give way -- the strap got detached. well done i say. since it was almost 10, there weren't any shops open. so either i dragged and slid my foot around till i got home, OR just go bare-footed. reminds me of those old mentos adverts they used to screen on tv haha. i chose the latter. so there i was, walking around town from wisma to lido to far east to get a cab, holding my sorry white heels in my hand. mummy sure aint so happy that the heels are ruined.. oh well, time to get new shoes then.

Sunday, December 04, 2005

the whole weekend's been pretty much 1 word:

miserable.

i can't help feeling this way. it's the kind of sh*tty feeling u get when u think that nobody cares. nobody cares, so nobody bothers about you or the way you feel or what you do or what happens to you now or later or ever. it's like bing and her depressive states when she gets into them. which i do think is quite true. now at least, i think and feel that way.

who knows, if i disappear from this place now, maybe my friends will only start wondering where i am after a week. maybe my family will start wondering why they've not seen me after a week. it's the start of the hols only, this is only the 5th day of my december hols after my 3rd sem in uni, and do i haf to go through this sh*t like that?

some of the top few things that i really HATE to do:

1. apologizing
2. regretting
3. confrontations
4. missing
5. being reminded of things/places/whatever it is that makes me miss

and to top it off, the worst case senario is when all 5 top-tens occur during the same period. how horrid can things get? really don't like doing any of the above, yet i amaze myself with how i can land myself in stuff that invovles all 5. first up, i didn't apologise or confront. next up, i am regretting and doing numbers 4 and 5. this really sux. if 1 and 3 happened, maybe, just maybe, 2 won't be so bad. but as it is, the feeling is miserable now.

only some of u know what i'm referring to. to those who do, thanks for listening the past coupla days. having friends like u around make me rethink that amybe some pple do care afterall, even if other pple or person don't/doesn't. thank you. but u're gonna haf to bear with this moody miserable state for a while till i snap out of it. or rather till something comes along to snap me out of it.

how do you love without falling in love? gwen asked this last night. heck, i haf no freakin idea. the line between friendship and beyond can be so opaque and obvious sometimes, yet so transparently thin at other times. what defines the boundary between friendship and other relationships? as joel said, relationships are fragile delicates. it's so unpredictable when they are gg to change states or when 1 is ending or starting, or when the nature of it changes, reversible or not.

how do u make yourself love without falling in love then?

i foresee how everyone's gg to be enjoying their hols. more than me at least. i don't see how i'm gg to be enjoying any bit of the few weeks of holiday-less holiday when the start of it is already so agonising that i actually wish school is starting soon.

i know there are things i shouldn't have done, shouldn't have said, and shouldn't have meant. but what's done is done. can't run from the fact that it's over..so gotta face up to reality and whatever music reality has in store. i know all that. but it's just so difficult. really. end up of cos i didn't do what i should have, didn't say what i should have, and so just gotta tahan the misery now. till when, i don't know. hope all this will end soon. but i just cant see that coming anytime before next year.

on top of all that's been happening, a passerby is dropping by as and when he is free to say hello. well HELLO, if you have to voice out your opinions and what-nots, wouldn't you care to leave your name please. or at least make it clear that you have the right to talk aout my life and what you think is happening to it. hmm can't really e othered actually if you wanna think you know what's going on. whether you're friend or foe, i'm quite sure somehow u're not really a stranger, well, watever.

i hope tmr and the days after that will e prettier ones.

yesterday began very early -- at 6am!! met sha and alee at the airport at 745am to send yewmun off to australia. lucky guy's gonna be there for 6 whole weeks soaking up the splash,sand,sun,surf,babes down under! the 15 mins or so that the 4 of us sat at the polar cafe beside the departure gates was the first time in soooooo long that we managed to all meet up and talk. honestly, i really miss the times we could just meet and talk and talk and laugh and laugh nonstop...seems like so long ago already.



the big bugger gave sha and i a hug each before gg in at 820am. guess we won't be hearing much from him till school starts next sem..


sha alee and i had breakfast at pacific coffee...breakfast was yummy. apple strudel and chocolate danish with latte, caramel latte and hazelnut latte. yummilicious. we talked like we haven't for months! agreed, we shall meet up again during the hols to catch up :)



did abit of swimming after i got home...and what a surprise, i met lihui and her bf at the pool!! haha. my legs and arms are still aching now..so difficult to sleep....

met up w jas and mel for dinner to cheer up my sad day. we went to menotti's!!! this italian place has really gooooood desserts, y'all just Have to go check it out!

it's at rafles city shopping centre beside bakerz' inn. the 3 of us took forever to decide on our Dinner from the wide and absolutely sinful selection of sweeties they had! after much deliberation and erm...recommendation from the waitress (haha), jas took a casata ice cream cake, mel had a soffiato warm dark chocolate cake with warm dark melted chocolate and ice cream, and i settled for roma 3 scoops of ice cream that tasted like a mix between pure heavenly chocolate and rum-and-raisin.

it was unbelievable...dinner was just pure heaven on the tastebuds! thanks girls for coming out and cheering up my saturday a little! we did abit of post-dinner/dessert shopping at the dior and the likes. something silly happened...and according to mel, its worth bloggin about haha so here's what happened. at the dior counter, i picked up a shimmery powdery puff like jas did, just that when the cap was unscrewed, the puffy thingy was unscrewed together with the cap and at least 1/4 of shimmery peach glitter fell onto my hands and the floor. oops, my bad!!

thanks mel for the lift back to thomson!!

Friday, December 02, 2005

woke up at 930am today and decided there and there that I wanted to Go Home!! so yea, gave daddy a call and he came to pick me up at 1130... turns out it wasnt so easy packing everything that's accumulated for months in 1.5 hours. was taking my time to pack at first...as usual...but in the end, i was just stuffing loasds of stuff into bags here and there.

so embarrassing...wooram (dunno how to spell) (the korean pageant guy from my block) even had to help daddy move some of the stuff out of the lift.... -_-

still, my mood wasnt all that fabulous during the day...

helped chuan to do his hair --> coloured it red!! cool!! but erm, his hair is just tooooo dark for the red to come out although we used up the entire tube of colour. sigh. sorry chuan ur hair needs a bleach for any colour to show!!

met sha and bing for dinner. FINALLY!! so happy to see the 2 of them and talk like we always do. although the last time we met up was the night before shalynn's bday when we celebrated for her, and we barely talked that much, today we sure did a good load of talking.

heart-to-heart talk. just what sha, bing and i needed.

california pizza kitchen still serves yummilicious pizzas. we had 2! the original bbq chicken and peking duck. it was good!!! and there was dessert too --> the mango sago dessert from xu liu shan. yum!

glad to haf the girls to talk about stuff. if not i'll be even more lost. but now i think i know wat to do....just prob dun dare to. sh*t man.

sian.

and why is there a "passerby" who is posting tags on my blog?!

Thursday, December 01, 2005

today was supposed to be a happy day. a very happy day.
cos exams are over.
cos i've not gone home and don't hafta account to my parents for staying out late.
cos happy times could be ending. little do i know that it's ending earlier than expected.
cos the idea of being around someone u're so comfortable with is really cozy.
cos i managed to sleep till 230pm. nevermind that i slept at 5am...
cos i had free movie tickets.
cos i could have lunched out and watched 2 free movies and shopped.

unfortunately, as always in my case, things don't turn out as sugary sweet as i wish. spent the whole afternoon in hall attempting to pack my stuff before gg home thurs or fri. wanted to lunch out, but someone wasnt free. din really intend to stay in the entire day while the sun was out.

what a waste of a good day.

waited till 9pm before leaving hall to go catch a show. first up: the free passes were not applicable to the only 2 shows that jp was showing -_- as if that didn't spoil my mood enough, you didn't even look interested in watching anything. like i forced u to go there. u don't care anyway. so why bother, right?

chicken little is supposed to be a funny funloving makepeoplelaugh kind of show that most pple should enjoy. sadly, i'm part of the minority while u're not. never do i ever want to watch that show again on tv or wherever cos i'm onli gonna be reminded about how rotten the feelings were during the entire 3 hours that i was out.

the way back seemed to be the longest ever that has occured between us. those who know me well will know that i really hate silent periods. this mood was really stinking-ly foul. and over such a small matter! i cant stand myself at times like this.

the travelling distance was that of 4 mrt stations at most, but it sure felt like aye was the longest expressway ever and wasn't ever ending. really felt like just shouting there but of cos that didn't happen. when u dropped me at the main door, guess u really really Dropped the whole thing. no matter even if i slammed the damn door so hard it fell off its hinges, u'd attend straight to ur door anyway.

what's up with the emotions breakdown tonight girl! i hate it when things happen like this. the triggering issue is really insignificant and i wonder of i'll actually be feeling different if u even tried making me feel that the issue was insignificant.

oh right. it doesnt matter anyway. reckon this is a pre-vacation fling for ya. so have fun while it lasts. or maybe i should be saying that to myself. oh heck, i shouldn't even be thinking that.

whatever. my mood stinks now. durian ice cream at 1145pm on sunday night was a really sweet surprise but that doesnt make up for how sian it is now.

now i remember, 1 thing i liked bout chicken little were the songs. "don't go breakin' my heart, i won't go breakin' your heart".

saturday will be closure day. or not.

Your Heart Is Orange

Love equals unbridled happiness for you. You enjoy the wild ride of falling in love. And while the ride is fun for a while, you always get off once the thrill is gone. Your flirting style: Hyper Your lucky first date: Anything you need your passport for! Your dream lover: Is both daring and well grounded What you bring to relationships: Energy

Get to know yourself better

Your view on yourself:

You are intelligent, honest and sweet. You are friendly to everybody and don't like conflict. Because you're so cheerful and fun people are naturally attracted to you and like to talk to you.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:

You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education

You may not like to study but you have many practical ideas. You listen to your own instincts and tend to follow your heart, so you will probably end up with an unusual job.

The right job for you:

You have plenty of dream jobs but have little chance of doing any of them if you don't focus on something in particular. You need to choose something and go for it to be happy and achieve success.

How do you view success:

You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

The Real You

Here is the analysis:

1. You've got great self-confidence and you're full of charm. Most guys who get to know you will be attracted to you. You are far from sweet and proper; your intriguing personality fascinates them. Most guys find it easy to fall for a girl like you.
2. You don't really care about other people's feelings. You do things the way you want and usually think only about yourself. You are easy-going and love to have fun, but you can be irresponsible as well. You are not keen on serious discussions because they can make you remember that life isn't always about parties.
3. You are a bright, cheerful and bubbly person. You are thoughtful and considerate, and like to have fun. Everybody feels comfortable around you because of your pleasant nature. When you walk into a room, people's eyes are likely to be drawn to you because of your charm.
4. Guys see you as being a thinker and a careful person. They will be really attracted to this quality in you, but you need to learn to speak your mind, otherwise people will find you too shy and quiet. Learn to relax and lighten up--it's okay to have fun sometimes. When you learn to develop your fun-loving side, guys are going to flock to your side.
5. Your boyfriend thinks that you are a real doll but this is not a totally positive thing. Sometimes you can be a bit too sweet, and come across as being helpless. If you're like this too frequently, your boyfriend and other people are likely to get tired of you having to rely on them all the time.