Wednesday, September 29, 2004

some good stuff and some not-so-good stuff happened today. got back psyc test during tutorial today, the result is quite a surprise, completely unexpected cos there were a quite a number of questions that got me quite stuck during the test.

psyc marking scheme is so sly! u get marks for every correct answer, and half a mark is deducted for every incorrect answer so the total mark would be 1 x (number of correct answers) - 1/2 x (number of wrong answers)...so mathematical.

clement said something today tat i've never thot of, that its becos i'm doing alot of arts subjects thats why science subjects seem to be of a different frequency. my mind seems to be working in a different manner, different stream of thoughts already despite the fact that i was from science fac just 9 months ago...all that maths physics chemistry - formula thinking manner...think its the lack of contact with that kind of subjects. physics 1 is getting more and more challenging, the test next monday is freaking me out just by the thought of it. this weekend aint gonna be so enjoyable again. whats new nowadays?

Monday, September 27, 2004

its monday again after the mid term break, the new tuesday of the week.

it started off ok, i guess. had physics lecture this morning, the lecturer was gg on about angular momentum and the sliding-rolling motion of a spherical object - My head is rolling and sliding now about all those formulas...what moment of inertia hai~ my test for this subject is next monday, the unease is gradually crawling in, the nervousness is escalating into partial fear, for now that is. it'll be full-blown fear on sunday nite, quite sure about it.

watched When We were Kings this afternoon durig film and history lecture. its about muhammad ali and how he wasnt just a sportsman as i always thought he was, instead he was a social/political/inspirational figure back then who was really passionate and steadfast in his beliefs and that really encouraged and motivated the African Americans and Blacks (i think). that sure changed my impression of him

got back my essay for project 2 of film and history "The role of memory in establishing historical truth?" really thought it was a big screw up cos i did it in an unclear state of mind w severe sleep deprivation the thursday nite before the mid term break. surprisingly, and this honestly surprised me, it was a tick-plus!!! i was expecting a tick-minus or (gasp) even a non-pass grade, so that shocked me and i'm stil shocked. din think it was a coherent piece of writing cos i felt that my separate points were all actually the same point just expressed differently. oh well :)

k, gotta go stuff my head with soci - economic and political systems, deomocracy, authoritarianism, socialism.......

Friday, September 24, 2004

its friday, the new monday after mid term break. had an 8am elang lecture at LT11 this morning with jas, david and ernest. that was definitely the most confusing elang session the whole sem, with phonemes and allophones, bilabial and fricative and velur sounds of IFA, +voice and -stop terms for the DF matrices of the English Language. looks like i need alot of revision for this chapter...

its been a rather slow day so far, had mac hotcakes for breakfast after lect, tasted soo good except for the butter/margarine which looked like it had changed its state of matter under the sheer heat. then it was up to AS7's computer cluster to print my notes and stuff, copy soci family and power notes. was already at kent ridge terminal ready to wait for bus 10 when i remembered that there was this set of elang notes from yiying that i had to photocopy for our project due next friday. rediscovered the 25cents bizfriend photocopying shop beside fong seng and got it done. re discovered because i knew all along that there was this super cheap deal for photocopying stuff but jus momentarily forgot about it.

my bus ride on 855 this afternoon proved 1 thing: bus drivers do not clean 855 buses!! i saw a cockroach for the second time on that bus (may not haf been the same 855 as before but still a 855 bus nonetheless!) it was baby insect, crawling ON the seats and UP and DOWN this old man's pants before it decided to proceed to the ground. there was also this group of 5 girls from a particular all-girls sec sch w a particular uniform that has spots on the coloured lower half of their dresses. they were communicating with each other at the top of their voices although they were all standing/sitting close to one another, surrounding me. something bout their behaviour (no, not their volume) reminded me abit of what it was like back in sec sch, when girls from all-girls schools didn really put in any effort whatsoever in the way we sat - whether or not the pinafore was more than halfway up the legs or even more than that. haha.

caught the last episode of that hk show at 430. wun be able to watch that show anymore...hai~ oh well. found out last night at clement's bday celebration at suntec sky garden that melissa watches it too! haha, i thought i was the only one still on about watching serials like that.

although days have passed since i talked to my peeps bout whats bugging me, i still cant get it completely outta my head! much as i wish for it to be self-'solvable', it is not. at least not until something or someone comes along to rectify this bugging problem, or until i do something productive about it. guess it'll still be a bug for now since i dun see any of those solutions appearing in the coming days (or at least this weekend) this is horrible :( certain happenings next week would only serve to exacerbate the problem in my honest opinion...why??!!!!

i was this close to being able to watch mama-mia tonight. auntie ivy had free tickets and mummy asked if i would be interested if mummy bren cant make it tonight. of course i was, am! but, apparrently, the 3 sisters are gonna be watchin it together later, there goes my chance of watching it...

Thursday, September 23, 2004

last day of midterm break already, time flies really fast, it's as if breakout was onli yesterday (or well, something along that line). yesterday was a rather productive day spent at bk millenia walk with weixuan and david. started and completed the entire chunk on culture which has a whopping 9 principles to work around with. that kind of drained the brain cells out of me, or whatever's left. But (!!) that's not the end of ferrante, there's still family and power and state, 2 major chapters i must say, or from what i can vaguely remember from those 2 lectures oh so long ago.

just found out last night that my physics test is on 4th october!!! thats bout 1.5 weeks from now on a monday lecture early in the morning at 8am. yewmun was asking me bout it but i just shot the question straight back at him. anyway, he found out the details and msged me at night. thats alot of physics to cover, i betta not just concentrate on ferrante alone. the sheer thought of going thru a physics test now is scaring the living daylights out of me, i'm sure it din scare so badly in sec sch or in jc... what with all the ultra-smart-practically-expert students taking that same module as me, oh goodness!

work list as of now:
1. 2 chapters of ferrante
2. elang project
3. 11 chapters of physics
4. psychology tutorial 4 ?
5. sociology tutorial 3? or 4?
6. physics tutorial 3?

man...that's a lot alot alot alot alot of work to be done. betta get started on it asap!

can foresee how today aint gonna be a good studying day since i'd hardly have time to do that. gonna be meeting my elang tut group gals at 1.30 at pacific coffee at city link to discuss the project and stuff, just realised that the write up for that is gonna be slightly less than 1000 words.. from town i'll be on 167 back to thomson plaza to meet ms saedah for music and pass her her belated teacher's day prez which i bought yesterday at body shop :) then it'd be 167 again back to town to meet dolus at suntec's sky garden, we're having a celebration for someone! then it's 167 (yet again, 4 times today) back to home sweet home, but not bed-sweet-bed..

tonight's the last episode for the hk show, gonna catch the 1130 slot before sleeping!

erin 10:45 AM

Wednesday, September 22, 2004

its 12.51 am on wednesday morning, day 2 of mid term break and my eyes desperately need to shut for at least 6 hours. But, i wanna write something in appreciation of some things that some pple have done.

had a relatively long chat w xuan last nite on msn till bout 2am...told her bout stuff that was bothering me..in my head and in my heart. i wun call it affairs of the heart cos its not too apt but basically stuff thats significant to me, in a way.

told her how confusing and well, disturbing, the whole situation was, is. and how i felt before and after it happened. and how i was feeling at the very instant i was typing to her. thanks girl, for being so encouraging and reassuring. that erin is a strong girl and not being able to handle such matters is not the way erin used to be, and not the kind of erin her frens know her as. though no specific solutions came out from our conversation, the feeling was definitely better. that problematic problem's been bugging me for bout 2 weeks already...some pple haf seen 'symptoms' of it and some know the 'effects' of it, but till now, i dunno how it came about, what caused it to be this way, whats causing it to remain this way and how to make the situation possibly better for those involved.

hai~~one person said its a 'vicious cycle'...i kind of agree in a way, but Whatever!!!! cos sometimes the mere thought of it just boils my blood and pisses me off in such a horrid manner i nv thought possible. should learn how to cool down..and act coolly. maybe that'll ease the situation abit. then again, its not all just irritatedness. theres this upsetting factor to it too, upsetting.

erin 12:51 AM

Monday, September 20, 2004

just came back from a 40-minute run or jog as pro runners would call it, but by my standards, its a run. took the upslope route up thomson heights, down to 7-11, turned right upslope till sembawang hills drive and down along st nics all the way to bishan park, ran along a round path with an incredibly far distance to cover, ran halfway up the st nics slope (..again..) and walked the remaining journey into the estate..40-minutes is an improvement from the previous 30-minutes. This is good, the next time i'll make it 50-minutes then 60-minutes aka 1 hour..and maybe see if i can go longer than that. or rather, see if my thigh and calf muscles can take me further than that.

din do much studying today, sadly. sadly, din do much studying today. din do, sadly, much studying today. this is like e-lang with all the adverbs being mobile words and having distributional qualities. onli covered ferrante chapter 1 in the afternoon. my head is kind of filled with marx's conflict theory, durkheim's division of labour, weber's rationalization, dubois's race issues and martineau's judgement of situations/society. yea thats bout all i did in the afternoon. gotta do more after dinner and after my hongkong show..its this show bout swimmers and the cast is quite young, all the more i wanna watch it.

k, gotta go watch it already. oh bing want to talk to me online later at 11pm, must remember to come online.

erin 7:33 PM

Sunday, September 19, 2004

this is not bout school work (not the complexities of physics and moment of inertia, or the sheer amount of work waiting for me regarding soci studying), its not bout family (not everythings flawlessly fine but i'm still ok w it so far), its not bout my music (forget takin exam this year, gotta wait another freakin year to take the freakin exam), its more of just weird unexplainable sensations....feelings....

why is that the world can be soo deep at times? such that one minute, everything is a-ok, the weather is excellent, pple are talking laughing and having fun with one another and the next its a complete 180 degree change, thunderstorms and shaky ground, confused mind(s), invisible barrier(s) among individuals (built up in a span of 1 or 2 days??!!)...whats the world coming to? whats happening?

is this the subtle hint to the beginning of the end of something that was once fun, close to the heart and accompanied by endless laughter and smiles and memorable moments? i dunno. i dun haf the answer to such a mystery.

some pple have given their perspectives on this. it sounds like it could explain the feelings but then again maybe not.

erin 5:32 PM

just wanna talk about the bash last night, 1 word to describe it : experience!

received shalynn's call the instant i woke up, we decided to meet at 1.15 at the forest 36 bustop behind orchard mrt so that we cud reach zouk at 2. received jiahe's call asking me to collect one of the model's clothes for the bash. in town shalynn called to ask if i could get vanguard from popular, then i had to withdraw cash to pay for yimxin and bing and howe's 5 tickets, then the 2 of us walked around town to see if there was anywhere to change money into smaller denominations for later on. from the bus stop in front of great world city where we alighted, it was quite a walk under the ever-scorching mr sun to zouk...well at least i've learnt something-how to get to zouk...

that was my 3rd time at zouk (the first was v-day '04 w eddy and gang, 2nd was sci bash) and it was interesting to actually be able to see zouk and not just see people, which is wat happened the previous times. the bizcom pple were there, most were busy doing stuff walking around settling last minute problems one after the other. shalynn and i counted the money in the cash box so many times, then there was the collecting of tickets and money from other bizcommers and changing the reservation list numerous times..i think it was fun in a way, to be so busy and all, there was this sense of urgency in the air definitely.

after alot of people pressed her to get the sales booth arranged and all, we proceeded outside. i was carrying the cash box and it sure as hell was very heavy. i lent her my black toga top for the night...cos she said she din know wat to wear..she looked good in it. dinner for the 2 of us was barely half packet of rice w chicken drumstick and vegetables that still contained traces of sand...eww..

honestly, i think the night itself when the crowd started coming in was quite a mad house, well at least for shalynn melanie and me. 3 of us were at the booth. both melanie and i attended to the crowd, i took care of the counting distribution and recordin of tix, melanie settled the money, shalynn was outside drawing the crowd in. saw a few familiar faces, like my primary sch fren who's in arts now too, my best fren her bf, my jc fren whom i've not seen for super duper long, my seniors...got to know new pple : 1 is my jc fren's fren, aaron - seems like a nice guy, even after i misplaced his goodie bags..oops. quite cute too. another is bing's fren.

surprisingly, there were ALOT of pple who came for the bash and did not reserve tickets...we sold quite abit of tickets at the door last night. bout 500 i think. due to certain circumstances, the sales could not hit our target, altho it definitely could have. but overall there was profit made after covering payment for the premises and expenses. though the earnings this yr is far from that of last year, at least we've got profits. oh well, we're all first-timers, coupled with the lack of time and rushed work and all, its definitely an experience for all of us, with mistakes to learn from.

sha and i din wan to waste our $15 that night considering that we spent money just to walk in and out of zouk once the whole night! mite as well use the drinks coupons, we had 4 altogether so that was 2 fruit punches, 1 pineapple and 1 orange juice. all fruity non alcoholic stuff, seriously dun think either of us could handle any alcohol that night, with both our brains not connecting properly to our memory and speech functions already. inside it was super crowded and we saw pple and more pple onli. the music was honestly quite horribly horrible (haha repetition of the 'h' consonant to emphasize the idea). sha was across the round table w james and i was on this side. joo chuan came to say hi to us and he said some stuff which was/is quite nonsensical. this person i just got to know came over to talk to us...to me. at the end of the conversation, i think my abs were quite trained (onli james and sha would know wat that meant haha!). mummy fetched me from lao pa sat after supper w the 2 of them...that was bout 2++...reached home around 330 i think. exhausted to the core but i had to bathe cos i really stinked!!! w the lingering stench of smoke in my hair, clothes and bag eww yuck!

washed my hair twice to get rid of it as much as possible (my mum said i was crazy). bout the whole smoking thingy during the night, i was quite taken aback to see certain pple doing it..i mean for 1 of them, i knew before that he would during clubbing and all - social stuff - but to actually see him in action was an entirely different matter altogether. i thought i was oversensitive and overreacting till i realised that i wasnt the onli one who thot that way, shalynn shares my sentiments exactly. oh well.

all in all, i'm glad its over and i'm sure others esp the main com guys are completely jumping for joy that breakout 918 is past tense as of now. asked sha last night if she wud run for main com positions for upcoming projects...she was hesitant bout it. haha. completely understandable.

erin 4:19 PM

Saturday, September 18, 2004

just remembered something that happened today in school that certainly made my long day alot more bearable.

2.5 hours of sleep on thurs nite was barely adequate to keep my eyes open. as usual, that ever so slight of a pounding started banging away in my head rite after elang lect. i was just hoping that it wud cease soon cos there was this great probability that it'd get worse and cause my head to explode. i was just saying this as my fren and i walked up a few of the countless flights of stairs in nus. guess what, my fren bought panadol from the co-op and passed it to me while i was at the ticket booth...quite unexpected that he did that actually, but i really appreciate it.. thank you, you made my day feel so much better :)

another thing, i helped another friend with some admin ticketing sales stuff while she was away on an marketing errand. i din and still dun expect anything in return for doing that cos she's a very special person to me and i din and still dun mind lending her a helping hand in whatever way i can. anyway, she was really grateful and all and thanked me a couple of times. ok, since i dun expect that, it was a nice feeling that she did what she did ;)

just thinking, frens are an integral part of life, well its been a major part of MY past 18+ years, esp in the past 7 years. those girls were the ones who stood by me when i was cranky and snapped at everything and everyone, when i was down and out, when i was jumping for joy..the list goes on. so blessed to have known them then, and to still be so close to them now. i believe that such friendships truly prove their mettle in times of conflict esp over not-so-large issues, and that nothing should ever haf a chance at disrupting this incredible level of trust and feeling of togetherness.

erin 12:33 AM

despite all my complaining of having to do xtra stuff on top of the usual homework due to bizcom, i'm glad i had the chance to experience it all...the mending of booths, collating of data from a whole big group of pple, arranging of stuff here and there, calling sms-ing people for a couple of hours in a row just to remind them of stuff, sms-ing more to liase w them bout more stuff, collecting and recording tickets and sales money...man!!!!!

definitely tired of doing all that, but must admit it's been fun, to a certain extent, certainly not the lack of sleep part though. never knew it was that difficult selling tickets to others - pple u call friends and those whose contacts are just in your phonebook - spent almost 80+ sms-es on almost every eligible person in my contact list just informing them bout the event and basically promoting the whole idea to them. its tough...and weighs heavily on my sms bill.

theres those who promise to go and i can definitely count on them. or her, specifically, thanks bing. theres those who are immediately interested in it and were already planning on gg just that they din know where to get tix from. theres those who are ur frens' frens, and their decision up till now is still pending. and theres those who raise your hopes and cancel on you at the last minute, ok so not really last minute but quite rather there. selling tix is honestly not something i enjoy in the least, not that its a matter of choice.

still, i hope tmr's turn out will be excellent and surprise all of us, especially sha who has definitely put in alot of effort to tackle the sales issue..

erin 12:15 AM

Friday, September 17, 2004

this has been an absolutely horrible week, well at least i think so. firstly there was this lab report that had to be handed in on thursday 5.30 (all thanks to ms smart-alec here who insisted on taking physics pc1141 this sem....)..that made me stay up till 2am on wed night to do calculations and precaution and all that usual report details..since there's this ridiculous rule that doesnt allow us to bring the prac bk outta lab. i DID bring it out in the end though, on thursday..and they found out...oops!!!! hope i wun get into trouble of any sort at all.. :p

on tues nite, i had this sudden idea of checking when's my e-lang test 1...lo and behold i realised that it's on friday (i.e. today!!) just din haf time to do anything bout it..not anything even as simple as reading/flipping thru the red lang tb..also cos of breakout 918 there was all the calling up of bizcom pple to tell them stuff bout their tickets and all...hai~~

its amazing that i'm still awake and sane enuff to type in all these considering that i slept from 3 to 530 am last night. my film n history essay officially started at 1125pm and ended almost 2 hours later...lack of sleep and slow brain processes sure did not help much. was trying so hard to make everything make sense to myself. wrote out some points on "the role of memory in establishing historical truth"..but managed to confuse myself into a terrible knot while typing on the other com. what can i say...??!! i din sleep after printing out that essay..flipped thru the elang tb while dozing off and trying to decipher what the strings of words in the tb meant in the 'linguistic sense' to 'a linguist'.

oh well, staying up to read elang din help much in this morning's test...din quite know how to explain lots of stuff like why 'type' is a noun and verb....after lect which left me craving (sort of) for cheesy mushroom from coffee club outside LT11 (and which i din eat in the end cos it was sold out..) came the bash ticket booth at arts canteen...slacked quite abit there actually. haha. was looking so so much to going home to sleep after i was supposedly done at the booth at 2...but i din get to do that in the end. helped shalynn compile and arrange the tickets collected, sold and unsold, when she had to go off for official business, all the way till 6pm, no more afternoon nap.

tmr is the start of the mid term break which lasts until (groan!!) thursday onli! why not just include friday that will come along with sat and sun?? i dun understand..why?! got lots to catch up on. betta stop wasting time.

erin 10:46 PM

Sunday, September 12, 2004

This is my first entry...whoa when i first found out bout the existence of this blog i was honestly genuinely seriously extremely shocked and surprised....cos it was completely unexpected. so yup, i really wanna say THANK YOU to some pple, in particular David for setting all these up and to those who contributed to this in 1 way or another..such as writing stuff in the small box (dunno wat its called yet), eg. rochelle.....

David: thank you so so so much for the effort and the surprise!!
Jasmine: hey girl. thanks for helping to come up with the name for this :)

i know i've said thanks a couple of times already but i cant say that enough, so thanks u guys, i really appreciate this :)

erin 12:58 AM

Tuesday, September 07, 2004

well, it's your own blog! all set up, administration all done...you've got the passwords and all; everything's settled. you wanted a blog, you didn't know how to set one up, you feared you wouldn't be writing in it much. i guess what we've done is: we've provided you with access to a choice that previously might be unfulfilled, but now isn't.

i hope you'll like your blog, considering the pain jasmine and i went through to pick a nice name for it. there were just so many nice words around! i even asked you to pick a word or two, but the words were too common, i felt. and i remembered something i once wrote a long time ago, thus, the title. but you can change it if you want to, because everything changes.

welcome to your blog, erin.

david

erin 9:49 PM