Sunday, September 11, 2005

things were a little sh*tty beginning this week. they neednt have gotten out of hand like that actually in my opinion, but oh well, things just happened. like how pple say 1 thing, and i interpret it my way instead of their way (who can i blame? i cant always be able to see things the way others view it right?) and faces turn black and voices sound disappointed and disheartened etc.

i'd just call it a clash of timing that 'fateful' tuesday night while i was on cblc duty at central lib. all i did was agree to go for supper with 1 person after his lect ended at 9. and it turned out that this person came to the lib to print stuff and the other person popped by at the lib too before he went home. see this is the whole problem about perspective. dun talk to me abt entrepreneurial marketing where the lecturer always says "its all about perception". darn it is.

preceisely because it was abt different povs that one person walked from raffles hall to central lib to say hello and walk out. precisely because of different perspectives and interpretations that we had that talk abt being you being active and me being constantly passive all the time, which was the reason why giving up was (or was not?) an option.

because of that, i had a coupla pple asking me in the span of 30 mins "what do you want?". its stressful really. i know i sound selfish and self-centred now, onli thinking bout how i feel and all. but thats really not the case. you think i like being this indecisive and so-called fickle minded? u think i actually enjoy being in a position where i dunno what to think or what to do? i sure don't. i dun like to leave issues hanging on the string in the air, to leave pple guesssing and doubting and befuddled bout what they can do. i also dun want to hurt anyone, nor be unfair to them. but it's so difficult!

raelly grateful for having some pple around that i can talk to...and who are concerned enuff to offer some help. thanks shalynn yeejia jh and alee :) i think i know wat to do. i'm not obliged to choose or anything along that line. so why not leave the ball in someone else's court and give them the freedom to choose instead?

had womba bbq at jeremy's place yesterday. not alot of pple went for it, but i'm glad that those who went, went. there were jeremy, tammi, trevor, kelvin, siosen, huiing, shalynn, me, jiahe, yewmun, jerene, clarice, joochuan. ate alot of marshmellows. oops. JERENE said i remind her of marshmellows!!! omgoodness. first darren thinks i'm like erm, bread....and now jer sayd i'm like marshmellows?! haha. how i'm into food. we were hanging around his place til bout 1.30am before we all went to west coast macs for erm, supper supposedly. except that onli the guys ate. west coast macs is a really nice place!! wanna go there again if not for it being so ridiculously far haha.

sha and i celebrated bing's 20th bday today. i met sha earlier to get her cake..which turned out to be this awesome tasting heart-shaped cookie from mrs fields in the end. then we rushed to bloodcafe to leave the stuff at the back with danny's permission. we all had dinner there. finally got to eat turkey cranberry again!! man, do we absolutely love it!! sha left earlier to 'pass her friend something' at the youth park where she got ready the cake surprise.

was supposed to bring bing to the youth park where she'll get her surprise. but lame me kept having to come up w lame excuses the whole journey there to explain why we were gg in that direction to 'buy stuff'. it was worth it in the end. though the wind kept blowing out the tealights and the sparklers sizzled off really quickly, the entire sight was really pretty. picture this: on a round stone chair, the heart shaped tin of cookie is in the middle, surrounded by tealights in front and gold sparklers at the back...so pretty! bing kept thinking her present was really chocolates, even till she saw the words "incanto dream" printed over the beautiful pink box. haha. cant believe her. she cant believe herself!!

to bing: if you read this, so did u get drunk from the alcohol in ur chocolates? haha. silly girl. but i still love you.

i'm gg to the mooncake fair thingy at taka with mummy tmr yay!! i was there last week actually with darren..but think tmr w mummy wud be good since we dun haf enuff at home. after that gotta buy pillow! been sleeping on this tiny cushion the past 2 weeks in hall..and well, its just too small.

next weekend dolus is having a gathering at xuans place for mooncake festival!!