Wednesday, September 22, 2004

its 12.51 am on wednesday morning, day 2 of mid term break and my eyes desperately need to shut for at least 6 hours. But, i wanna write something in appreciation of some things that some pple have done.

had a relatively long chat w xuan last nite on msn till bout 2am...told her bout stuff that was bothering me..in my head and in my heart. i wun call it affairs of the heart cos its not too apt but basically stuff thats significant to me, in a way.

told her how confusing and well, disturbing, the whole situation was, is. and how i felt before and after it happened. and how i was feeling at the very instant i was typing to her. thanks girl, for being so encouraging and reassuring. that erin is a strong girl and not being able to handle such matters is not the way erin used to be, and not the kind of erin her frens know her as. though no specific solutions came out from our conversation, the feeling was definitely better. that problematic problem's been bugging me for bout 2 weeks already...some pple haf seen 'symptoms' of it and some know the 'effects' of it, but till now, i dunno how it came about, what caused it to be this way, whats causing it to remain this way and how to make the situation possibly better for those involved.

hai~~one person said its a 'vicious cycle'...i kind of agree in a way, but Whatever!!!! cos sometimes the mere thought of it just boils my blood and pisses me off in such a horrid manner i nv thought possible. should learn how to cool down..and act coolly. maybe that'll ease the situation abit. then again, its not all just irritatedness. theres this upsetting factor to it too, upsetting.